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OK sir, you can drive it home now...

My mate Houghton....

...(who keeps on telling me that I'm a better photog than I think I really am...) has pushed me into entering Life through a lens, a photographic essay competition sponsored by Panasonic and the NZ Herald.

All images from Mapua Wharf.

If I don't win, there'll be trouble.....

Truth in advertising

Just love it....

As a 4 year old sees it...

Not Bratwurst? Not Döner?

The Guardian has a wonderfully informative infographic telling us what the world's favourite foods are, the world for this purpose comprising all of 17 countries.

We learn that India's favourite food is ... Indian and Mexico's favourite food is...you've guessed it...MEXICAN! 

Well done all of you who got the right answer!

And China's favourite food is....

Oh.

China didn't quite make the top 17, but I'll hazard a guess and say ...Mexican.

No?

Chinese?

Really?

And Germany?

No Döner? Not even Currywurst?

But I've learned something.

Noodles and pasta are completely different animals.

Bet you didn't know that either....

Texture

I have an idea...

Why don't you say "Our store will re-open on 1 July"

Or don't you have a project plan?

And if you're closing the store, say so.

And why don't you tell people that the nearest store is a mere 13 minute drive to Takapuna?


Utter brainlessness at the Country Road store in Albany, NZ

I have expensive hobbies

 

Not me personally, you understand, but members of the tribe wouldn't BLINK at splashing out €70 for a wafer-thin t-shirt proclaiming to the world their lack of fiscal responsibility .... 

This is the life

Brunch with Houghton at Bambino in Ponsonby.

Sweet corn fritters with bacon and slow-roasted tomatoes.

Both ordered the same thing.

(So what else is new...?)

Red Gallery

"We want it to be a beautiful shop that people will want to come to for art, atmosphere and perfect coffee. say the new owners

Er, isn't that what Red Gallery was anyway...?

Ouch...

"The Speaker, Lockwood Smith, generally does a good job of controlling standards in the House.

As a quizmaster on children's television programmes before entering Parliament, he is well qualified for the role"

Biting wit from the "Nelson Mail"

Did I really say that?

Location: BP petrol station, Richmond
"Pump 8, the Nelson Mail and oh, I'll take an $8 Executive Car Wash"
("Executive" is the cheapest. For $12, you get "President", $16 gets you "Potentate" which involves the sudsy bit being performed by vestal virgins or something similar).
"Nah mate" (DON'T CALL ME MATE! I'M NOT YOUR MATE, I'M YOUR FUCKING CUSTOMER!) says callow youth "Carwash is stuffed, eh. No idea when it's gunna be fixed, eh"
"Just pump 8 and the Mail, then"
"Don't want the wash, mate?
Shouldn't have said it, but....
"Now, if it's not working and you don't know when it's going to be fixed, why would I want to buy a car wash voucher right now?"
"Aw, to use it later, eh mate"

Location: Pak'n'Save, Richmond
Standing in front of the delicatessen counter - peering over the top, actually  - with the intention of buying some bacon in quantities smaller than the pre-packed 2k chunks.
Standing there for quite a while, in fact.
"Wanna hand theya" ask a voice from somewhere on the other side.

As if I had a choice.

Did I look as if I was waiting for the flight to Auckland?

Shouldn't have said it, but....
"Well, given that there's plate glass between me and the 4 rashers of bacon I've got my eye on, yes, I probably will need serving..."

Bloody hell....

He works in the nursery. He obviously enjoys that.

Vincent, 73, is in his 44th year in prison. The Parole Board says he has an "enormous" history of sexual offending.

"On his own admission, more than 100 children were abused by him in the past," the board said in its decision from a parole hearing held on May 31. There was no proposal for release put forward.

The board said Vincent presented at his hearing as "very pleasant to us".

"He was well-dressed and alert. He describes himself as being very happily situated at the present time.

He works in the nursery. He obviously enjoys that."

Bloody hell.....

No, I didn't SAY that....

The Ministry of Economic Development has not done any analysis of where the 170,000 new jobs promised in the budget will come from.

Acting Economic Development Minister David Carter told the commerce select committee today he was not aware that any analysis had been done.

"Bear in mind the Government hasn't said it will create the 170,000 new jobs - the budget said there will be 170,000 jobs," he said.

Asked by committee chairwoman Lianne Dalziel which sectors the jobs would come from, Mr Carter said he did not know and had not done any work in that area.

More frightening stuff here

Wouldn't that be indecent exposure...?

This is the life

Lunch. View.

 

Appleshed Café, Mapua Wharf

 

And gay croissants cost how much....?

Not quite sure which I prefer...

 

Qantas's apocryphal fan mail from the 1980s or Lufthansa apocryphal amenity kit fan mail

 

 

Classy stuff

Lufthansa Business Class-y, that is...