24 January 2009
MIRRORCILLIN - A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to
four hours without pausing once.
STOPPANAGGIN - Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards their
COSMOPOLIRA - Doubles female intelligence, allowing "facts" in trash
lifestyle magazines to be disputed.
LOGICON - Trials showed that females taking this were able to follow a
proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue effectively
without being diverted into non-relevant postulates such as "you don't
love me any more".
PARKATRON - 72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse park a
Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 metres long; 54% achieved this in under
MAGNATACK - Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain shapes appear
much larger than in reality - no practical use for this drug has yet been
WARDROBIA - Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women taking this drug
can safely walk past a sale notice, and an amazing 42% stayed within their
BEERINTULIN - Engenders a female desire to bring her spouse/boyfriend
alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised sports.