You must be from away

We've moved

2011-06-29T11:12:00.001+02:00

We're now at WordPress.

Either click on the link or wait 20 seconds to be forwarded automatically

OK sir, you can drive it home now...

2011-06-28T08:50:00.000+02:00

My mate Houghton....

2011-06-27T15:29:00.000+02:00

...(who keeps on telling me that I'm a better photog than I think I really am...) has pushed me into entering Life through a lens, a photographic essay competition sponsored by Panasonic and the NZ Herald.

All images from Mapua Wharf.

If I don't win, there'll be trouble.....

Truth in advertising

2011-06-25T08:31:00.000+02:00

Just love it....

As a 4 year old sees it...

2011-06-23T15:10:00.002+02:00

Not Bratwurst? Not Döner?

2011-06-22T17:35:00.001+02:00

The Guardian has a wonderfully informative infographic telling us what the world's favourite foods are, the world for this purpose comprising all of 17 countries.

We learn that India's favourite food is ... Indian and Mexico's favourite food is...you've guessed it...MEXICAN!

Well done all of you who got the right answer!

And China's favourite food is....

Oh.

China didn't quite make the top 17, but I'll hazard a guess and say ...Mexican.

No?

Chinese?

Really?

And Germany?

No Döner? Not even Currywurst?

But I've learned something.

Noodles and pasta are completely different animals.

Bet you didn't know that either....

Texture

2011-06-19T07:19:00.000+02:00

I have an idea...

2011-06-19T07:06:00.000+02:00

Why don't you say "Our store will re-open on 1 July"

Or don't you have a project plan?

And if you're closing the store, say so.

And why don't you tell people that the nearest store is a mere 13 minute drive to Takapuna?

Utter brainlessness at the Country Road store in Albany, NZ

I have expensive hobbies

2011-06-17T14:52:00.000+02:00

Not me personally, you understand, but members of the tribe wouldn't BLINK at splashing out €70 for a wafer-thin t-shirt proclaiming to the world their lack of fiscal responsibility ....

This is the life

2011-06-16T02:03:00.000+02:00

Brunch with Houghton at Bambino in Ponsonby.

Sweet corn fritters with bacon and slow-roasted tomatoes.

Both ordered the same thing.

(So what else is new...?)

Red Gallery

2011-06-15T08:08:00.000+02:00

"We want it to be a beautiful shop that people will want to come to for art, atmosphere and perfect coffee. say the new owners

Er, isn't that what Red Gallery was anyway...?

Ouch...

2011-06-14T20:47:00.001+02:00

"The Speaker, Lockwood Smith, generally does a good job of controlling standards in the House.

As a quizmaster on children's television programmes before entering Parliament, he is well qualified for the role"

Biting wit from the "Nelson Mail"

Did I really say that?

2011-06-10T11:53:00.001+02:00

Location: BP petrol station, Richmond
"Pump 8, the Nelson Mail and oh, I'll take an $8 Executive Car Wash"
("Executive" is the cheapest. For $12, you get "President", $16 gets you "Potentate" which involves the sudsy bit being performed by vestal virgins or something similar).
"Nah mate" (DON'T CALL ME MATE! I'M NOT YOUR MATE, I'M YOUR FUCKING CUSTOMER!) says callow youth "Carwash is stuffed, eh. No idea when it's gunna be fixed, eh"
"Just pump 8 and the Mail, then"
"Don't want the wash, mate?
Shouldn't have said it, but....
"Now, if it's not working and you don't know when it's going to be fixed, why would I want to buy a car wash voucher right now?"
"Aw, to use it later, eh mate"

Location: Pak'n'Save, Richmond
Standing in front of the delicatessen counter - peering over the top, actually - with the intention of buying some bacon in quantities smaller than the pre-packed 2k chunks.
Standing there for quite a while, in fact.
"Wanna hand theya" ask a voice from somewhere on the other side.

As if I had a choice.

Did I look as if I was waiting for the flight to Auckland?

Shouldn't have said it, but....
"Well, given that there's plate glass between me and the 4 rashers of bacon I've got my eye on, yes, I probably will need serving..."

Bloody hell....

He works in the nursery. He obviously enjoys that.

2011-06-09T19:13:00.000+02:00

Vincent, 73, is in his 44th year in prison. The Parole Board says he has an "enormous" history of sexual offending.

"On his own admission, more than 100 children were abused by him in the past," the board said in its decision from a parole hearing held on May 31. There was no proposal for release put forward.

The board said Vincent presented at his hearing as "very pleasant to us".

"He was well-dressed and alert. He describes himself as being very happily situated at the present time.

He works in the nursery. He obviously enjoys that."

Bloody hell.....

No, I didn't SAY that....

2011-06-09T18:53:00.000+02:00

The Ministry of Economic Development has not done any analysis of where the 170,000 new jobs promised in the budget will come from.

Acting Economic Development Minister David Carter told the commerce select committee today he was not aware that any analysis had been done.

"Bear in mind the Government hasn't said it will create the 170,000 new jobs - the budget said there will be 170,000 jobs," he said.

Asked by committee chairwoman Lianne Dalziel which sectors the jobs would come from, Mr Carter said he did not know and had not done any work in that area.

More frightening stuff here

Wouldn't that be indecent exposure...?

2011-06-09T11:55:00.000+02:00

This is the life

2011-06-09T03:59:00.001+02:00

Lunch. View.

Appleshed Café, Mapua Wharf

And gay croissants cost how much....?

2011-06-06T10:49:00.000+02:00

Not quite sure which I prefer...

2011-06-02T04:14:00.005+02:00

Qantas's apocryphal fan mail from the 1980s or Lufthansa apocryphal amenity kit fan mail

Classy stuff

2011-06-02T04:14:00.003+02:00

Lufthansa Business Class-y, that is...

Feeling a bit buggered

2011-06-02T04:14:00.001+02:00

On Saturday I drove 900km from the South of France to Mayence

On Tuesday, I drove 350km to the university where I do a 2 hour lecture on the impact of culture on business processes.

Today, I'm flying 11 hours to Los Angeles and then another 11 hours to New Zealand.

I hope I'm not required to flap my arms or anything similarly strenuous.

I'm actually feeling quite buggered.....

Not very green at all

2011-06-02T03:57:00.005+02:00

Greenland from FL340 LH456

By George...

2011-06-01T08:50:00.001+02:00

... just look where we are...

- Posted using BlogPress

So if I say.....

2011-05-31T09:24:00.002+02:00

.."fuck alcohol", that's bad for my health?

Le Confusion a la Orange

2011-05-27T09:32:00.000+02:00

I’m gradually getting used to these French people.

I don’t (much) mind being overtaken in a roundabout (I drive on the right, they go around the other way and hopefully they get to the chosen exit before me...)

I don’t mind not being able to use my credit card (because it’s not issued in France) at 24 hour petrol stations.

I no longer go into a catatonic state when people you’ve never seen in your life say “Bonjour MonsieurDame” (I DO like the prioritisation...) in the street, especially after the “avert eyes and scurry past” mode that Germans go into.

I’m coming to terms with the fact that people say “Merci” when you stop for them on the pedestrian crossing and - by the same token - come to a screeching halt if you - as a pedestrian - are within 10 metres of a crossing.

And I’m even getting used to their jumping in with whatever English they can muster when my French stops working after around 7.3 seconds. That's new.

Their Orange mobile phone service has got me stumped, though.

On Monday afternoon - a mere 100 or so hours after I’d paid €35 for a sim card and a mere 90-ish hours after I’d paid for a month’s worth of all-you-can-eat internet - I’m still getting billed €30 an hour for internet access. (Note: I’m not using it very much...)

The nice young lady at Orange with the big ~~knockers~~ er....eyes looked at the iPhone, looked in her system and assured me that I was now on internet illimité and that I could safely get a Recharge which I could use for phoning and yes they do say that it’s activated within 48 hours, but Saturday and Sunday don’t actually HAVE any hours so that explains it all.

So that’s OK.

Naïve as I am, I believed her. (With eyes - or whatever - like that, who wouldn’t....?)

Next morning, I rock over to the local supermarket in Roussillon on my way to visit the fashion model helping out at the bakery for a leer baguette and say in what goes for my best French

“Bonjour Madame, une Recharge pour Orange á dix Euro, sil vous plait”

“Pour DIX Euro, Monsieur?” she asks incredulously

“Oui (I can say “Oui” so immaculately that the locals think I’m one of them), pour dix Euro” I counter.

I’m convinced I’ve just ordered a €10 Orange top-up; she’s equally sure I think I need a massive dose of Vitamin C to fend off a scurvy attack.

“Alors” she says, grabs a bag and starts stuffing oranges (as in “peel and eat them” oranges) into it.

“Mais non!” I implore, pointing to a conveniently placed poster “Orange telephonique!”

Slaps her forehead, says something that I’d like to think was “It’s early in the morning” but was probably “Stupid fucking foreigner” and prints me out a voucher.

On second thoughts, I should have perhaps gone with SFR, the other provider.

Less potential for le confusion

Postscript: Despite having l’Internet illimite and having turned off anything that might suck up bandwidth (emails aren’t considered to be data - you have to pay extra for that. Go figure...), I’ve managed to rip through ANOTHER dix Euro in a matter of hours.

Je donnez en haut, as they say around these parts....

Bedoin? Baudouin?

2011-05-25T18:07:00.000+02:00

It's difficult to overlook the fact that Bedoin down here in the south of France is overrun by Les Belges.

The language is a dead giveaway - Frutch/Dench. You think you should understand it, but you don't.
Not a chance.

I think I know what attracts them.

Someone back home has spread the rumour that a dyslexic French person named the town after their King from waybackwhen and they feel obliged to charge down l'autoroute des Soleille and pay homage to him by flocking into cafes, there to devour pomme frites and similar delicacies and similar.

At least they're pronounceable this time...

2011-05-24T19:46:00.000+02:00

If I leave this glass much longer.....

2011-05-24T18:10:00.000+02:00

...it'll burn a hole in the tablecloth.

Not a chance.......

This is the life - reloaded

2011-05-24T18:04:00.000+02:00

In France, beer or wine costs less than Perrier. Good.

2011-05-23T16:53:00.001+02:00

At least this works....

2011-05-22T14:11:00.002+02:00

This is what happens when you buy prepaid mobile in France.

Firt, you try and buy a sim card on a Monday.

Bad move.

They're open Saturday which means that they close on Monday as compensation.

The next time you're in a major city is Wednesday, so you try and buy a card from Orange.

Their authorisation system's having "probleme technologique" in the morning so you buy it in the afternoon.

You can't actually USE it of course, because they've taken a copy of your passport and the Gummint has to confirm the fact that you're not a terroriste which takes 24 hours.

Or 36 hours.

They don't TEXT you to tell you, so you keep on trying.

Only then can you buy a flatrate data option which costs €9 a month, which is certainly better than €30 an hour.

Except this supposedly takes another 48 hours and they don't TEXT you tell you it's been activated so a couple of times a day, you activate the cellular data option on your phone to see if you're being charged by the minute.

Which you are.

After 72 hours.

And you've already used up just about all of the €25 credit that you put on your phone.....

At this rate, I might be able to use it by the time we go home.

No point trying to find out tomorrow.

It's Monday.....

Un Matin a Lourmarin

2011-05-21T19:49:00.000+02:00

Words aren't adequate...

2011-05-12T18:23:00.000+02:00

Nobody

2011-05-11T16:57:00.000+02:00

A classic from Seth Godin

Nobody wears a watch any more.

Nobody wears a tie either.

Nobody shops at a bookstore, at least nobody I know.

The market of nobody is big indeed. You can do really well selling to nobody if you do your homework. In fact, most companies selling to nobody outperform those that are trying to sell to everyone.

And you thought the New Seekers were bad....

2011-05-10T20:22:00.001+02:00

Look at this mob.

If you must.

Hopefuls in the Eurovision Song Contest

Jedward (JEDWARD?) from Ireland singing "Lipstick"

Anastasiya Vinnikova from Belarus singing "I love Belarus" (I suppose you have to go to these lengths to stay out of jail. I hate to think what happened to the failed finalists...)

Stella Mwangi from Norway (must be Norway in the Caribbean) singing "Boom Boom"

	Homens Da Luta (I think that's "Village People" in Portuguese, maybe Rute can confirm this) with Luta É Alegria

And then, of course, there's our own darling Lena with "Taken by a stranger"

Which she'll pronounce as "Tiken by a strinejah" if her last effort's anything to go by.

Thinks: She won last time, too....

Can we safely assume....?

2011-05-01T14:41:00.000+02:00

The government ramped up efforts on Saturday to help thousands of homeless victims of the country's second deadliest recorded tornado outbreak, which killed at least 350 people.

Can we safely assume that Tea Party/small government activists affected by this disaster are declining government assistance?

Can't have it both ways, folks.......

90% won't notice....

2011-05-01T10:55:00.000+02:00

Grinding illiteracy on display at the National Bank of New Zealand

Being ignorant in America is now considered a virtue

2011-04-29T10:50:00.001+02:00

"It takes hard work, years of religious indoctrination, the failure of public education and the fulfillment of Neil Postman's prophecy about "entertaining ourselves to death" to get a country to the point where a Glenn Beck or Donald Trump is not simply laughed (or scorned) off the national stage by an informed public that knows that village idiots belong on lonely street corners howling at the moon, not on talk shows taking the rest of us with them."

The rest here

20% of Croation Catholics are atheists?

2011-04-24T21:41:00.000+02:00

According to the 2001 census the majority of Croatians (87.8%) belong to the Roman Catholic Church.

In the Eurostat Eurobarometer Poll of 2005, 67% of the population of Croatia responded that "they believe there is a God".

Good to know.....

Woody Allen's Posh and Becks through time

2011-04-23T21:40:00.000+02:00

More here

HT kottke.org

(Posh and Becks = specs )

What are those lumps on the water?

2011-04-23T18:51:00.000+02:00

Jake used to work in tourism on Grand Cayman in the Caribbean and has been asked some very dumb questions

What are those lumps on the water? (Um, waves).

How deep do you have to go to dive under the island? (Um, quite deep)

But most amusing was when he asked an elderly couple if they were enjoying their holiday.

"It's lovely," they said. "But we thought we had booked to go to the Grand Canyon."

HT Duane Hansen

Kwinglish

2011-04-22T18:09:00.000+02:00

A comma or two would be a good start. And a long ruler.....

Putin promises to boost flagging birthrate by 30%

2011-04-22T14:47:00.001+02:00

Vladimir Putin pledges to spend £32bn on increasing Russian life expectancy

He could do that by calling off his goons and tell them to stop assassinating people...

Prime minister appears to make a play for return to presidency as he also promises to boost flagging birthrate by 30%

Rather him than me....

HT The Grauniad

Bursts into flames? Successfull?

2011-04-21T13:26:00.000+02:00

Xerox's first successful copier burst into flame so often it came with a fire-extinguisher

The rest over at BoingBoing

Multiple choice

2011-04-21T12:49:00.001+02:00

More than one answer may be correct

I will vote for John Key/Phil Goff

1 When he tells the nation that Fred Dagg's "We don't know how lucky we are" was and remains a parody and is not a substitute for the national anthem

2. When he shows me a chart that fully explains how superannuation funding over the next 20 years can be achieved without raising retirement age or increasing taxes

3. When he tells the nation that the America's Cup is a commercial enterprise and that the $36m earmarked for it are going into R&D credits for SMEs

4. When he tells the nation and the NZRU that saying that a $10m loss is "satisfactory" is sending the wrong message

5. ~~When he offers me and 4 mates a ride to the Auckland Zoo in an Iroquois~~ Scrub that one

5. When he clearly lists the major challenges facing the nation, prioritises them, defines a plan to address them and tells the country what the impact on life in New Zealand is going to be

6. When he says that trying to close the wage gap with Australia is like trying to graft a tomato onto the back of a hairbrush - there's no point and it doesn't work anyway

7. When he says "Actually, we were in power for 9 years out of the last 12, so we have to take some of the blame"

Who is it?

2011-04-20T13:11:00.000+02:00

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.

And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.

It's either my mum or my dad.

Or my older brother Colin.

Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu.

But I think it's Colin.

Oh, how bloody generous...

2011-04-15T17:27:00.000+02:00

The Loop in Weiterstadt gives you sub-dial-up WiFi.

Free though...

Do you have that in XL?

2011-04-15T14:38:00.001+02:00

"Er, I mean in XK120?"

Slow and self-obsessed....

2011-04-13T10:29:00.000+02:00

What do you think of euthanasia?

2011-04-01T15:39:00.000+02:00

"I have we have to look after our own kiddies first."

Then, of course, there's Frühlingshit

2011-03-31T08:45:00.000+02:00

Or Brathering

HT Boing Boing

3 days in March

2011-03-30T17:03:00.000+02:00

Wonder how you manage to make ends meet

2011-03-30T15:02:00.000+02:00

Someone over at digg came up with the outstandingly good idea of giving visibility to political sponsorship by PSing leading politos into NASCAR driving suits and plastering them with advertising from their sponsors..

And doesn't Michelle Bachmann look cute in her cocktail waitress dress....

Who needs a car?

2011-03-27T17:17:00.000+02:00

Hechtsheim to here takes 16:25 - only 5 minutes more than the same trip in the car

Even WALKING only takes 37 minutes, for goodness sake

Every picture tells a story

2011-03-26T11:39:00.001+01:00

The 1400 block Montana Avenue in Santa Monica is a favourite place - villagey, definitely upmarket, but inviting.

It's got Blue Plate, a favourite breakfast/lunch/dinner place, it's got Whole Foods and it's got loads of funky shiops.

Like "Every picture tells a story" which - apart from selling kiddie books - has an exquisite collection of framed original artwork from children's books.

I'd like to say that the owner shot back with "but I came out looking just the same" when I greeted him with "Combed my hair in a thousand ways", but at LEAST he knew the song....

Spent some time feelin' inferior
standing in front of my mirror
Combed my hair in a thousand ways
but I came out looking just the same

Daddy said, "Son, you better see the world
I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave
But remember one thing don't lose your head
to a woman that'll spend your bread"
So I got out

Paris was a place you could hide away
if you felt you didn't fit in
French police wouldn't give me no peace
They claimed I was a nasty person
Down along the Left Bank minding my own
Was knocked down by a human stampede
Got arrested for inciting a peacful riot
when all I wanted was a cup of tea
I was accused
I moved on

Down in Rome I wasn't getting enough
of the things that keeps a young man alive
My body stunk but I kept my funk
at a time when I was right out of luck
Getting desperate indeed I was
Looking like a tourist attraction
Oh my dear I better get out of here
'for the Vatican don't give no sanction
I wasn't ready for that, no no

I moved right out east yeah!
On the Peking ferry I was feeling merry
sailing on my way back here
I fell in love with a slit eyed lady
by the light of an eastern moon
Shangai Lil never used the pill
She claimed that it just ain't natural
She took me up on deck and bit my neck
Oh people I was glad I found her
Oh yeah I was glad I found her

I firmly believe that I didn't need anyone but me
I sincerely thought I was so complete
Look how wrong you can be

The women I've known I wouldn't let tie my shoe
They wouldn't give you the time of day
But the slit eyed lady knocked me off my feet
God I was glad I found her
And if they had the words I could tell to you
to help you on the way down the road
I couldn't quote you no Dickens, Shelley or Keats
'cause it's all been said before
Make the best out of the bad just laugh it off
You didn't have to come here anyway
So remember, every picture tells a story don't it

Can someone please answer me 2 questions.....

2011-03-26T10:04:00.000+01:00

Question #1:
What does this new alliance actually want to achieve by bombing the crap out of Libya?

Question #2:

What does the new alliance intend doing in the longterm once they've stopped bombing the crap out of Libya?

I must have been in hibernation for the past week or so, because I have no idea.....

Idiots all

2011-03-25T09:27:00.002+01:00

Angele Merkel's centre-right CDU party is about to get comprehensively stuffed in two major state elections his weekend.

Totally deserved.

Rhineland-Palatinate (my patch) is pretty much a shoo-in for Kurt Beck, the rustic incumbent with ~~street~~ paddock-creds, despite an effective challenge by Julia Klöckner, a hard-eyed one-time Wine Queen who can dodge a journalist's straight question with the best of them.

Baden-Württemberg, on the other hand, shouldn't even be up for grabs. Traditionally CDU-ruled with none of this coalition crap, they've thrown away any semblance of a lead in the polls by a display of unparalleled arrogance in trying to force through a rebuild of the main station in Stuttgart against massive popular opposition.

And then there's the nuclear power issue.

Nuclear power is about as popular in Germany as a pig in a synagogue anywhere else and extending the lifetime of a number of them a couple of months back did Angela's polls no good at all and the environmentalist Green Party all sorts of good.

The events in Japan over the last couple of week, though, gave her the perfect opportunity to do a flip-flop without too much egg being left on her face.

"Crikey" she said " We'd better take the oldest plants off-line straight away and let's have a 3 months moratorium on extending the life of the others ~~until the state elections are over and everyone's forgotten about it all"~~

She reckoned without Rainer Brüderle, her Minister of Economics from her coalition Free Democratic partner.

At the exact moment that she announced the reactor shutdowns, Brüderle was addressing a meeting of the Federation of German Industries (BDI) - a body which includes 40 of the country's top businessmen.

The minutes of the meeting noted his words "that given the approaching state elections, politicians are under pressure and, as such, decisions are not always rational."

And then he denies it, BDI backs him up with a "We'reverysorrythesecretaryfuckedupandshe'sbeenceremoniouslybeheadedhedidn'tsaythatatall" which no-one believes anyway and there's a great whooshing sound as all credibility flies out of the window.

What Angela should have said is this:

"Until we can replace nuclear energy and fossil fuels with renewables, we're stuck with reactors. They're no less safe now than before the Fukushima incident and we'll ramp up the inspection regime. We have a strategy for reducing our reliance on nuclear power and we're sticking to it.

But let's be clear on one thing - Germany's an industrial economy and we need power to produce the stuff we sell overseas.

I COULD shut down the older reactors to appease the anti-nuclear lobby, but that would be pure populistic electioneering and it would mean that we'll have rolling power cuts until we've built enough windmills and solar plants to compensate for the shortfall.

You've elected me as CEO of Deutschland Inc. The next shareholder meeting is in 2012 and if you don't think I've done a good job, you can vote me out then.

Until then, I'll do what I think is right for Germany"

If she still loses the state elections, she could at least look at herself in the mirror.

I don't believe it!

2011-03-23T17:21:00.000+01:00

The guy who designed THIS (Jon Ives of Apple)

drives THIS.

Is he a pimp on the side, or what?

Just look at those evil alloys.

I would have him down as a Saab driver.

Man of good taste. Suave. Handsome. Etcetera.

Hello

2011-03-21T04:48:00.000+01:00

HT Boing Boing

For the benefit of recently arrived Martians

2011-03-20T16:39:00.000+01:00

Seen: guess where....

A day (or two) in Southern California with an iPhone 4

2011-03-18T13:00:00.004+01:00

A bitter ale for bitter times

2011-03-18T04:14:00.000+01:00

Wot? No tatts?

2011-03-17T21:53:00.002+01:00

I love the Intelligentsia coffee bar on Abbot Kinney in Venice for its singularity of purpose.

It serves coffee, tea and croissanty-type stuff.

You queue outside, wait for your barista who makes your coffee in front of you, someone else takes your money and you either sit on concrete steps, outside in the alleyway or on bar stools at a bench.

It's very edgy/industrial design/clinical/echoey/jangly. It has the aura of the pre-op room before they gave me Leg 2.0.

They've opened a cafe in on W. Colorado in Pasadena, which serves the same great coffee, but I can't help but think that they've lost their focus.

They do brunch, lunch and dinner, serve craft beers and they have the same order process as Starbucks.

Place your order, pay, walk down the counter to the barista and pick up your coffee.

It's not as if they yell out "Skinny, decaf, no foam, caramel vanilla chai latte with whipped cream for jb", but the guy who takes your order looks normal.

Barnes and Noble/Apple Store normal.

No tatts.

What's the world coming to, ffs...?

Unless the husband is gay

2011-03-17T21:22:00.000+01:00

Manfesto at Jonathan Adler, design outfit with a retail outlet on Montana Ave, Santa Monica.

It gets worse, but no less funny

This is the life VII

2011-03-17T13:00:00.001+01:00

The breakfast -

Poached egg on grilled haloumi and a minted pea and broad bean mash

Eggs Benedict with lemon-smoked salmon

The view

From the Takapuna Beach Cafe

These people just crack me up....

2011-03-17T07:42:00.000+01:00

On a fairly fruitless search in SoCal for an iPad 2 for Ms jb.

Ask one of the Apple experts standing next to a sign saying "We're sold out today, but ask one of our experts about how you can get one tomorrow"

Basically, you can't.

The conversation went something like this:

Q: How many units do you get in a day?
A: I don't know? They arrive all the time and there were people lined up when I came to work
Q: Really? How many?
A: I don't know. I didn't look.
Q: What time do you open tomorrow?
A: We normally open at 10am, but I guess we might open earlier when a new product like the iPad 2 comes out.
Q: So tomorrow?
A: I don't know.

Is it a dire lack of inquisitiveness or a severe case of short term memory loss?

Postgrad studies

2011-03-16T20:22:00.001+01:00

Ms jb is continuing her education.

She's currently studying Anthropologie.

Tuition fees run at about $200.

Per visit

Posted using BlogPress

This is the life VI

2011-03-16T08:17:00.003+01:00

Dinner at the Engine Room, Northcote Point.

Sublime.

Welcome to LA

2011-03-16T00:31:00.001+01:00

Guy in the Apple Store in Santa Monica demonstrating Google Maps on the iPad.
"You can even look at LA traffic" he says
Screen starts flashing red, amber and (not a lot of) green.

Blonde bimbo pipes up "What do the colours mean....?"

Bloody hell....
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This the life V

2011-03-14T08:09:00.000+01:00

Lunch at Bambina. Dessert, double espresso, espresso machiato and NZ lollies at Agnes Curran.

Have I understood this correctly?

2011-03-14T07:06:00.000+01:00

Saw this at the Mtakana market on Saturday and I thought "How are they going to send fresh whitebait fritters to the South Island. And the rest of the North Island for that matter? And how much do they cost if you buy them at the stand to eat there?"

Answers on a $50 note, if you don't mind.

They were going to make the bottle smaller...

2011-03-12T20:30:00.001+01:00

...but they decided against it.

It's still 1.5 litres.

I guess they wanted everyone to know....

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Emblematic

2011-03-10T22:56:00.001+01:00

Who uses words like "emblematic" these days?

On New Zealand television, too.

David Slack does.

Good on him...

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That looks OK then

2011-03-10T22:55:00.001+01:00

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3 and 3 = 10

2011-03-10T08:42:00.000+01:00

At Naturesmoke on Mapua wharf, anyway.

3 pieces of 3 Ribaldo, 3 scallops and half a scoop of chips (= Freedom Fries) turns out to be 5 pieces of fish and 5 scallops.

Lucky us....

A walk on Kina beach

2011-03-10T01:36:00.000+01:00

Time: 1 hour

Distance: 5.4 km

Kina shells collected: 7

People met: 0

And a good time was had by all

2011-03-09T05:52:00.001+01:00

Collateral damage

Looks like.....

2011-03-05T20:47:00.001+01:00

....Elspeth's won Lotto....

Looking seaward

2011-03-05T11:06:00.000+01:00

I mean seaweed........

Mug of the month - March 2011

2011-03-05T09:00:00.004+01:00

Glazed anagama fired teabowl by Darryl Frost.

Snapped up at the opening of his exhibition at the Suter on Friday

"That doesn't sound very nice..."

2011-03-04T20:48:00.002+01:00

..says Ms jb as we drive past the Travellers' Rest hotel on the Appleby Highway.

"Eh?"

"Well, would YOU want to eat at the SALMONELLA Club?"

(Salmonella DUB are a Dub/Drum n Bass/Reggae/Roots band. Iconic status in New Zealand. Played last night.800 audience. Big for the top of the north. Listen)

Contrasts

2011-03-02T06:13:00.003+01:00

Real estate agents aren't meant to be like this.

They're inevitably snake oil salesmen, promise you the world and give you nothing.

Lydia Heyward of Richmond is different.

She's straight-forward, reliable and nice. (I lived in fear for a while that my illusions would be shattered and that she'd turn out like all the rest, but having worked with her for over a year now, I know that my misgivings were unfounded. She's pure gold)

And she calls up and says "Call into the office when you have a chance, I've got some fresh eggs from the hens for you. They're laying like crazy"

And then you've got my lawyer who's had my business for the last 15 years.

Get an invoice for $200+ for scanning a total of 20 A4 pages (spread over 3 events) and emailing them to me as pdfs

She reckons it took her 52 minutes and 12 seconds.

I need a new lawyer.

Someone who delegates crap like this to an office worker who doesn't need 3 minutes a page.....

I suppose that they get them from the RSPCA

2011-02-28T01:06:00.001+01:00

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This is Nelson - reloaded

2011-02-27T10:10:00.001+01:00

100% of the day's turnover from this café

Neudorf Vineyards collected over $10,000 at their Winery Tour concerts

$15,000 from the Opera in the Park concert in Nelson on Saturday.

Mr Todd from whom we buy veggies said that some people from Christchurch came in to stock up.
"We gave them a couple of big bags. Don't want any money from them"

Something I saw on TV still makes me teary

They tracked down a rescue worker who someone described as "a hero, an angel"

The guy stands there bashfully as the reporter tells him how the woman whose life he'd saved described him.

In utter embarrassment, he looks over his shoulder and says " I don't see any wings, dear, do you? Oh no, yeah, look, I was just helpin' out, eh? Had to be done, eh"

This is New Zealand

These people are idiots

2011-02-27T00:34:00.000+01:00

You order a satnav device, pay for shipping and expect - at the least - a modicum of intelligence in packing it for shipping.

This is how it arrived.

It's probably experienced the equivalent of being picked up and dropped on a hard surface 200 times.

No point in complaining directly, of course - you just get a Call Centre drone who's measured by how quickly he/she gets rid of callers..

So if anyone's interested - the company is Dick Smith Electronics and they're staffed by idiots

I thought so....

2011-02-25T19:19:00.001+01:00

Mrs jb's foot started swelling and - $100 later - the doctor wanted to do some tests to rule out DVT.

"I don't think you've got a clot" she said.

"What do you mean" says Mrs jb "I've been married to one for over 30 years......"

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No littering on the beach

2011-02-25T02:02:00.001+01:00

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This is Nelson

2011-02-25T01:59:00.003+01:00

Local cafe donating their entire coffee revenue - not profit, REVENUE - for the day to the Christchurch Earthquake Fund.

Next door, one of the banks is barbecuing sausages, either donated by the bank or it's customers.

Cool stuff and you're hearing stories like the mobile phone shop owner from Auckland who closed down the business and moved his staff and stock to Christchurch and is driving around areas with no power, handing out car chargers to folks who don't have them.

Or farmers from 100s of kilometres away, champing at the bit to be able to use tractors, trucks, diggers....

In a small country like NZ, everyone knows someone who's affected.

6 degrees of separation doesn't work here.

Here, it's 3 degrees of separation.

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Ooops

2011-02-23T15:36:00.001+01:00

Seismic beer at Golden Bear brewery in Mapua.

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This is the life IV

2011-02-23T15:26:00.001+01:00

Less than 2 hours after landing in Nelson.

A beer from The Golden Bear brewery.
Blue cod and chips from Nature Smoke.
A bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from Waimea Estate.
All local.
Consumed next to the Waimea Estuary at sunset.
Beat THAT if you can.

Hint: You can't
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Style

2011-02-22T17:00:00.000+01:00

The Oriental hotel in Bangkok has a deserved reputation of being one of the best hotels in the world. Never stayed there, of course, but we've eaten at their restaurant frequently and you invariably find us at their Veranda bar on the banks of the river on at least one evening when we're in Bangkok.

They also have a café in the Paragon shopping centre.

Here are 2 examples of just how good they are.

Mrs jb orders a blueberry cheescake and an espresso, I order my usual doppio and I'm - as usual - encouraged to try the cake.

All of a sudden (and you don't even NOTICE its being placed on the table), there's a plate with an extra fork.

The first time we went there, we asked if they served a light breakfast.

Would we like croissants and preserves?

That would be very nice.

Of course, please take a seat.

They don't ACTUALLY serve breakfast, but instead of sending us downstairs to their bakery (which DOES serve breakfast), they send one of their staff downstairs to bring it upstairs and serve it.

Now, THAT'S style.....

This the life III

2011-02-22T09:00:00.001+01:00

Still the Oriental Veranda bar

Now you see it...

2011-02-21T16:46:00.001+01:00

...now you don't.

My life now has a purpose.

Everytime I see a book by Glenn Beck/Dick Cheney/Carl Rove/George W Bush et al, I surreptiously move its neighbour (subject to the condition that said neighbour isn't a best seller and that the author is not one of the above) and simply BURY it.

I walk with my head held high.....

Probably not.....

2011-02-21T16:18:00.000+01:00

Thailand is one of the few places I regularly visit for which I don't have a prepaid SIM card for the iPhone.

The United States is the other, but as far as I can work out, they don't even EXIST there.

(Talk about world technology leaders....)

So I popped into the very flash True mobile phone outfit in the Paragon Centre.

The sweet young thing at the counter had NO CLUE what I was talking about, but a Thai guy jumped in to help, translated my question and translated her answer which was that I should go to a 7eleven store, buy a card and call up customer service to have them activate the data package.

"Will they understand me?" I asked.

"Probably not" he said.

Stuffed again......

Maybe not.....

2011-02-21T16:08:00.000+01:00

White Café, Bangkok

This is the life II

2011-02-21T09:00:00.001+01:00

The Oriental Veranda bar

The Annabatterie Café syndrome

2011-02-20T18:05:00.006+01:00

This the White Café at the end of Soi Thonglor off Sukhumvit 55 in Bangkok.

Big spread in the "Nation" this morning so we rocked on over this evening.

Median age clicks 2 points to the right. That's the Annabatterie Café Syndrome.

Who cares?

Great food (authentic Thai on one side of the menu - stuck to that, Thai Fusion on the other), open kitchen, clued up staff, great music (Snic Youth, Pulp, Supergrass, Moldy Peaches, Asteroids Galaxy Tour)

Everyone local apart from us, which is ALWAYS a good sign.

What more could you want?

[Mobiilty scooter parking? Ed]

This is the life

2011-02-20T17:19:00.000+01:00

The Oriental Veranda Bar

As far as I can work out....

2011-02-19T04:25:00.003+01:00

...we've arrived in Bangkok.

A mere 18 hours late.

Not that I'm complaining, of course.....

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Glenn Beck talks to himself

2011-02-19T04:21:00.001+01:00

He's also astoundingly frank in acknowledging the shortcomings of himself and his peers

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